Now Playing: Children Are A Blessing
Topic: rants
Just a note for parents: your children are a blessing. Treat them accordingly.

Don't go away for the weekend and expect your teens to take care of each other. When the cat's away, the mice will play, and the rats come in for dinner.

Investigate your prospective dates. This is the information age. Such things are possible. Isn't it worth it to find out that Mr Right is a sex offender BEFORE you bring him home to meet your children?

Don't send the kids off to play in the toy aisle while you shop. It's not fair to the sales clerks who must clean up after them; and it makes them prime targets for a snatch.

Don't drop them off a mile from home so they can walk back and "cool off." Sorry, folks, but I have more faith in a few swats than a lone walk, for disciplinary purposes.

Don't let your teens use your home for drinking parties. I don't care how diligent you are about taking their car keys, it's still just plain stupid.

Don't let them drive high-powered sports cars. They think they're invincible. Why give them toys that foster that illusion?

The 18-year commitment you make when you have unprotected sex may seem like a burden at times, but, if you're not ready for it, use birth control or abstain.

Our children deserve better.

Now Playing: SBC--Global cock-up!
Topic: rants
Through some banking glitch or other, I lost my DSL. Tried to get it back...was told it would take 24 hours. After that, was told, the next business day, for sure. That would be Monday. Was told on Monday that it would be later in the week. Was told on Thursday it would be back up by midnight. Was told Friday that it would be on by 5 PM. Got a message later on Friday that said I had to order it all over again on Monday, and it MIGHT be on by the following Friday. Got home from work on Friday in time to sit, on hold, for 35 minutes, until office hours were over.

So I called Road Runner, and asked them how quickly they could get me connected. They told me Tuesday. Guess what? It's Tuesday, and I have internet access! Thank you, Time Warner!

Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Why I Wear a Tinfoil Hat
Topic: rants
Here is my tinfoil hat. Tinfoil hats are a necessary protection from the insanity that runs rampant on many crime message boards these days. They don't have to be this fancy, but it doesn't hurt. I wear mine a lot when visiting Court TV Boards, or the Scott Is Innocent site and its companion message board: TalkAboutChit.

Court TV's latest darling is Mark Lunsford, father of murdered Jessica Lunsford of Homosassa, FL. Mark is the broken-hearted father who is out to change the law to require better monitoring of registered sex offenders. A good idea, admittedly.

However, Mark's hands are not clean. Jessica's mother hadn't seen her in five years, and had no idea where her daughter was. Mark, at 41, was living with his parents and making a habit of spending the night at his girlfriend's place. And, of course, leaving the front door unlocked so he could get back in the house in the morning, to get ready for work. Apparently, his parents didn't trust him with a key. He had no idea there was a houseful of crack-heads across the street, one of them being the sex offender who has confessed to kidnapping and raping and killing Jessica.

But, Mark is the current poster-boy at CTV. There is even a URL given, where we are invited to donate to a fund to get Mark a new Harley with Jessica's picture airbrushed on the gas tank. This is over and above the tacky website set up when she was first discovered to be missing, which has a Paypal button where people can donate to help with Mark's "expenses." Separate from the legitimate reward fund, of course.

When Jessica's body was found, Mark hopped on a (borrowed) motorbike and headed off on a run in Jessica's memory. Go figure!

Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Jessica Lunsford Murder
Topic: rants
Statistics say that an abducted child is likely to be killed within three hours of the event, if it is a "stranger abduction."

Jessica Lunsford was missing over three weeks before being found right across the street.

I know it rained a day or so after she was taken, which could play havoc with scent dogs, but I still have several unanswered questions.

Like, why didn't the dog bark? How did the perpetrator get her out of the house without waking anyone? We're not talking about a mansion, here; just a double-wide mobile home. Why did she take the stuffed dolphin? Why didn't the dogs find the body (or parts) under the mobile home across the street? Why did the perp's sister, with whom he was staying from time to time (in the house across the street), cover for him?

It's very hard to understand how she wasn't found sooner. It's horrible to know that our children are not safe, even in our own homes.

And who has the perp fondled, molested, or otherwise messed with, that didn't report it? He was last known to interfere with a child in 1994. I don't believe he has been a model of innocence for 11 years, and suddenly committed a crime more horrible than any he has committed before.

In 1979, he committed a burglary which included his putting his hands on a child and trying to kiss her. So, why has he been on the loose so much, with so many opportunities to repeat and escalate his offenses?

I think the prevention of crimes like this has at least two aspects. First, parents need to be aware of who their neighbours are. I know you can't just go up to someone and say, "Look, I know you are a registered sex offender; please move." But, if there are sex offenders living nearby, parents need to be more vigilant. And, second, we need a realization that the people who commit these crimes are not going to stop. Sure, they want to get out of jail, so they will say all the right things: yes, I'll go to counselling, yes, I promise to stay away from children, yes, I'll register every time I move, but how many of them abide by that? We have to realize that somebody who commits a crime of a sexual nature upon a child is a very sick individual, and does not deserve parole. I think that the very first grope should get a stiff sentence, no parole or probation, and the second should get a lifetime lockup.

Now Playing: Grammar and Spelling
Topic: rants
When I was a know-it-all teen, I used to argue with my father about the English language. He was of the opinion that English had peaked in Edwardian times, and had been going downhill ever since. My stance was that language is a process, constantly changing.

Here I stand, now, with my finger in the dike, like the little Dutch boy of legend. Oh, I know my grammar isn't perfect, and I sometimes get confused between English and American spelling, but I do try. My kids always called me the Grammar Police, and I like the title.

I was watching a trial on Court TV yesterday, and couldn't concentrate on the arguments because neither the prosecutor nor the blood-spatter expert could get out a sentence without an "uh." These are educated people. College degrees. In professions where they should have had some sort of Speech training, sometime during their expensive educations! Do they just not care?

A couple of pet peeves: there are several forms of the word "to." It has been so long since I was in school that I don't remember the names of all the parts of speech, but I do know when to use "to," and when to use "too." I'm very surprised at the number of people who don't!

Let's take a look at "between/among." "Between" is for two, as in: "I had to decide between the cheesecake and the pecan pie." "Among" is for more than two, i.e., "He had a difficult choice to make, among several colleges that accepted him." If you look closely at the word "between," you'll see "tween." Do you not see something there that looks like "two?" I do.

"None" was originally a contraction of "not one." Hence, it is singular, as in: "None of us HAS all the answers."

"No one" is two words; no hyphen.

The word "lay" requires an object. "I shall lay out my clothes for tomorrow, and then lie down."

"I couldn't care less." All over the web, I hear "I could care less." Well, if you COULD care less, then you DO care. "I could NOT care less" is correct. Have we forgotten that "couldn't" is a contraction of "could not?"

"Amount." I love this one. "Amount" is used for quantities that cannot be counted individually. For things that CAN be individually counted, use "number." "There is a large amount of sand on the beach," is correct. "The number of refugees puts a strain on the available services," is also correct. "The amount of DVDs on the shelf" is abysmally ignorant.

Enough for now. I will be revisiting this topic. Please take notes!

Now Playing: Students
My husband is a middle school theater teacher. A very good one. He teaches the basics of theater--terms, pantomime, improvisation, readers' theater--and how it relates to life. His students have so much fun that they take their talents and skills out into the community. Two of them were in a recent production of "Man of La Mancha," and a third, in "Once Upon a Mattress." Over the years, many of Husband's students and former students have graced the stages of several local theaters.

This, to me, is success!

Now Playing: Spring
Topic: Weather
"Spring has sprung
The grass is riz;
I wonder where
The flowers is."

I think I got that out of a Readers' Digest sometime back before the Flood!

Spring has come to Central Texas. It's time to mow, the red wasps are moving back into their spot right outside the back door, mold is thick in the air...

Those ridiculous trees that get flowers before they get leaves are poofing out in pink, purple and white. I am tempted to put the houseplants back out, but, after so many years, I know better! There will be one more freeze. There always is. Usually, it comes two days after I haul all the damn plants out of the bathtub and drag them to the front porch.

I have a lovely oval bathtub, with jets. Too bad I haven't been in it since November!

Spring always feels vaguely ominous to me, because the heat and humidity are not far behind. I was born and bred in England, and moved to western Canada when I was a child. My skin was not designed for this climate. I am way too young for "liver spots," but have quite a collection of them. I spend my summers either cowering in the air conditioning, or dodging from shade patch to shade patch. And eagerly anticipating Autumn.

Mood:  down
Now Playing: The End of La Mancha
Well, the show is over, and the costumes are all heaped in the back of my car, waiting for the rain to stop.

The play was much better than I expected it to be. I don't mean to cast any aspersions on the director; I've known him several years, and he is very talented--I just could not see how The Man of La Mancha could possibly be produced on our tiny stage! It was done, and done well. The performance had passion, artistry and a whole lot of class. I saw the last performance. It was very obvious that the actors were enjoying it, and, when the elan is still there for the last show, it's a sure bet that everyone had fun. Some of the voices were not up to professional quality, but the theater is so small that you really don't have to be hugely loud.

Miss "Aldonza" has a wonderful voice. I was quite happy to bury the hatchet. Particularly as she used part of the costume I designed. She stuck with her giraffe-print skirt and shiny spandex corset, neither of which looked good. Her bodice and boots, which she also supplied, were excellent.

I think it's one of the best shows Sam Bass Community Theatre has ever done!

Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Oscar Gowns--What were they thinking?
Topic: clothing
You'd think that, with the budgets these Hollywood women have to work with, they could come up with something flattering. Are they so blind that they can't look in a mirror and say, "This looks like SHIT?"

Major across-the-board no-no's: horizontal ruffles, pale, anemic colours, and huge trains. I can't give examples of who was wearing what, because I'm too old to be familiar with this crop of Divas.

I did see one woman wearing long gloves with her strapless dress. Elegant. When did gloves disappear from women's formal wear? Maybe when odd styles came "in," like one I saw last night; the gown had one long sleeve. I guess, given the option of wearing one or none, I would choose none. The offending gown was at least two sizes too big for its wearer, and a most insipid colour of pink.

Speaking of which, what's with all the pink?

Somebody had their gown built by somebody who usually does skating costumes--big flesh-coloured panel in the front, joining two sequined bands. Has your cleavage gone south, sweetie, or were you afraid your mom would be offended?

Sidney Lumet's wife looked lovely, when they showed her sitting in the box. I would have liked to see her on the carpet.

And Barbra...honey...just because you've put on a LOT of weight, doesn't mean you HAVE to hire Omar the Tentmaker! Sheesh! There must have been upwards of 10 yards in that dress! The collar-like necklace draws attention to your increased girth. And blonde hair with a lavender dress just makes you look...well...old.

A few rules:

Make sure it fits. I saw several that were too big, and many that were too small.

Don't wear a gown that isn't comfortable. Too many women were pulling at their oh-so-fashionable strapless, boned bodices. Those look good only if you have a perfectly proportioned figure. If your upper deck is small, your lower looks too large. If your ta-ta's are really bodacious, your gown better have a bustle!

Some of you ladies have a bit too much on the thighs to wear clingy gowns.

Gold lame is not a good choice for an extremely well-endowed woman, especially if it's a halter dress.

Do not wear anything made of satin that is gathered horizontally. Especially pink satin.

Don't wear more jewels than Elizabeth I. Earrings do not need to brush your shoulders. And don't wear those things that look as if you bought them at the auto parts store. You know the ones--those little chandeliers that make your car smell...better.

Skip the 6-foot train.

Comb out your hair. Many women looked as if they either forgot to do their hair at all, or didn't have time to comb out the curls. Including Oprah, whose gown was wonderful.

I know it's hard to get someone to do your make-up, but the guy from the funeral parlour shouldn't be an option.

Just because your tits cost a fortune doesn't mean you have to carry them around on a tray.

Rarely do I ever see anyone, anywhere, who looks "perfect." I saw nobody last night who fits that description.

God help me, if I ever have to attend so formal an occasion! I would wear something vintage, that FIT (hello), was simple, and, above all, comfortable. I would not have to lift it to walk, or pull on it to make sure I wasn't falling out of it.

Now Playing: Murder
Topic: rants
Yet another monster has decided that killing a woman in his life is an effective way of getting out of a relationship. This monster compounded the horror by killing her 7-year-old son and 7-month fetus.

I've heard rumours that, even among cats, it happens that the male cat devours the kittens. In a lifetime of keeping cats, I have never personally witnessed this. Although a visiting dachshund once wiped out an entire litter, in the mistaken assumption that they were rats.

To call Stephen Dale Barbee a rat is to be unkind to rats. We seem to be raising a generation of men who think their own desires are the most important thing in the world. More important than the lives of a pregnant woman and a 7-year-old child. I think the two main factors in raising men like this are overindulgence and enablement. Applying a bit of poverty and discipline in early life might go a long way toward solving the problem for future generations. Just because you can afford to buy your kids the latest in gadgets and toys doesn't mean you HAVE to do it. Training them to earn things better prepares them for adult life. And, very important; don't let them lie to you. When they're tiny, it's easy to spot. Nip it then.

For a detailed discussion of this latest murder, please visit www.misfitting.com