Costuming
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: #@%&* Actresses!
Topic: rants
Well, I've got one! Haven't had one in years, but now I've got one! A genuine, bona fide, card carrying Diva! The lead actress in the play I am costuming at present has all sorts of input and ideas about what her costume needs to look like. I was told, several days before the costumes need to be there, that she needs to be able to tear a strip off her skirt or petticoat to make a bandage. No problem. Velcro is a wonderful thing! Then, when I call her to ask how big a bandage, I find out she needs from 2 to 4 bandages, a couple of which are props, not costume elements at all! While I'm digesting this, and factoring in a trip to the craft shop for more velcro, I am informed that she needs bloomers, as well. OK--anything to make an actress feel comfortable!

Then she tells me that her skirt should be red-orange, and she should have another for after the rape, this one to be a pale, virginal blue! She offers to email me pics of what she wants. When the email arrives, the pics take ages to unzip. I finally get them, and, guess what!? She has done this show before! And she wants the same costume she had for the last production of it! Oh, and to top that, she wants to know if she should be shopping for flesh-coloured tights, or if I'm going to supply them.

Our theatre is very small, and the actors are practically in the laps of the audience; I'm sure a few people would be wondering why Aldonza was wearing tights! I'm considering telling her that, not only will she not be wearing tights, but that she is required to let the hair grow on her legs for the entire run of the show!

Wait till I tell her she will be wearing a purple satin corset, covered with ragged black lace!

Never, NEVER, piss off your costumer!